I have been all over the place in the last several weeks. Whew!
I have been up and I have been down, I have seen it working in my life, then I feel like it is a waste of time. Then this morning happened…
So I am taking the biggest leap I have ever taken before. I have hired an International Award winning Coaching Team (yes, it takes a team) that is going to push me, pull me, mold me into that which I have created myself to be, “The Leading International Expert in Women’s Performance, Best-Selling Author, Fit and Fabulous”.
Yesterday in speaking with someone about my excitement and apprehension of this giant leap, she shared with me and said some things (although not intentionally) got me feeling bad and totally second guessing myself. Now mind you, having this International Coach show up and then raising the capital to pay for it was completely brought into my consciousness from my subconscious being hard at work on realizing my burning desires that I have created, and I was clear about that. Nonetheless, I began to think about what a stupid idea it was, I should not do it, who am I to do this, etc, etc, etc.
I woke up this morning, with those same thoughts only 10 times worse now that I have simmered in them. But I did my meditation as I always do, and it got louder, and then crawled into my same chair as I do every morning after my meditation with my tea in hand, ready to go through the motions of my readings. So I read the chapter of “The Greatest Salesmen in the World” by Og Mandino, and then I read the one sentence sum up of my desires for next year, As I began to read it faking it til I made it, a switch got turned on. I no longer was faking it, it is me, it is my truth, I am taking the right actions, I can accomplish anything I want.
The doubts, the fears, the apprehension, it was gone. The clarity was back, I had turned around on a dime.
I finished my reading and got about my day. It was magical. My confidence had shifted, I had clarity and pureness of thought. I have promised to let go of my ego and I trust in the powers that be and it is showing up as I created. My subconscious mind is leading the way, it is demolishing my ego. It is showing me that I am not a “feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances” as George Bernard Shaw writes. But I am a magnificent, capable woman who can accomplish anything.
So the story continues. I may still have the mental fights as my ego and my identity fight for that which is safe. But I shall overcome, as the old hymm goes.
Happy Holidays to all! May you find your true joy in life!